We've seen this article circulating for awhile now and we certainly know that as women we have a lot to work on. We're incredibly critical of ourselves and of one another, both of which aren't always good qualities. HuffPost Women issued a challenge to us as women to stop doing the following 23 things and we're definitely going to take them up on it.
1. Apologizing all the time.Research has shown that women actually do say “sorry” more often than men. We’re all for taking responsibility when you make a mistake -- but constantly apologizing for having your waiter split the check or asking a date to hang out on a different night or telling a friend about your problems, does more harm than good. There’s no need to qualify everything you do. Own your preferences and decisions.
2. Saying “yes” to everyone else. Yes, I will meet you for coffee even though I’m exhausted and just want to go home and crawl into bed. Yes, I will edit your resume even though I’m swamped with my own work. Yes, I will go on a double date with you, your almost-boyfriend and his awful friend who’s in town. Stop saying “yes” when you don’t truly mean it. People actually respect you more when you set boundaries.
3. Saying “no” to yourself.A lot of women spend a whole lot of time deciding what we can’t do or shouldn’t do or aren’t good enough to do. Don’t allow your insecurities and anxieties to make your decisions for you -- you’ll only end up missing out on worthwhile experiences. So go talk to that group of people you think you won’t fit in with, stay out late against your better judgment every once in awhile and treat yourself to that blowout even if you don’t really need it.
4. Viewing food as the enemy. Women often receive the message that our ultimate worth lies in our looks. Our hair should be smoothed or perfectly curled, our makeup on at all times -- but natural-looking -- and our bodies bangin’ (read: thin). In the quest to achieve these impossible standards, it’s easy to see food as something to contend with rather than to enjoy. Be cognizant of what you put in your body -- after all, it’s the only one you have -- but try to do away with the guilt. Savor every bite of that gnocchi with gorgonzola or that Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream or those fresh cherry tomatoes. Food should not come with regrets. As Nora Ephron wrote, “I have made a lot of mistakes falling in love, and regretted most of them, but never the potatoes that went with them.”
5. Body-snarking -- out loud or in your own head.Stop putting your looks down, period. Nothing good will ever come of it, unless you’re working through body issues with your therapist.
6. Feeling like an impostor when you accomplish something professionally.Women are more likely than men to feel like “impostors” at work, often doubting whether we deserve the successes we achieve. Start taking your accomplishments at face value. You got that new job or promotion or grade or public recognition because you were worthy of it.
7. Obsessively untagging every “unflattering” photo of you that ever existed online.While it makes sense that you don’t want that photo of you blinking showing up all over your Facebook profile, we probably cause ourselves more anxiety than necessary making sure every image that doesn’t show us in perfect lighting doing something totally amazing goes away. It’s not only just one more way for us to obsess about our looks -- after all, people will post what they’ll post and we have little control -- but online photo albums have largely replaced physical ones. You may not want to remember the unflattering face you made at your brother’s graduation party now, but down the line you might want to conjure the moment.
8. Comparing your real life to someone else’s virtual one. Spending a ton of time obsessing over your own online life can be anxiety-provoking -- but so can obsessing over other peoples’ virtual personas. Research has shown that Facebook addiction is correlated with lower self-esteem. And who wouldn’t feel bad sitting in bed on a Monday night scrolling through your ex’s vacation photo album or the enthusiastic statuses your friend in the fashion industry posted during a celeb-filled party? Instead of playing a constant game of comparison, which studies have shown can actually magnify feelings of depression, just close your laptop and enjoy the present. At least it’s real.
9. Holding on to regrets and guilt.“I’m pretty anti-regret,” Lena Dunham said at the 2012 New Yorker Festival. Guilt and regret are two emotions that usually serve to torture the person feeling them. Acknowledge your regrets and guilts, and then move on to the best of your ability.
10. Wearing heels every day.Look at this terrifying infographic and then tell me why it’s a good idea to force your poor feet into stilettos on a daily basis. We love a gorgeous pair of pumps, but embracing comfort (most of the time) will not only make your commute a whole lot more pleasant, but your feet a whole lot happier for years to come. Plus, flat shoes can be super stylish.
11. Judging other women’s sex lives.No woman deserves to be put down for who she sleeps with, how many people she sleeps with or how she chooses to express her sexuality. Next time you’re about to call another woman a “prude” or a “slut” just zip your lips. Even Miley Cyrus and her twerking shouldn’t be slut-shamed.
12. Judging your own sex life.No one needs to know your “number.” And honestly, you probably care a whole lot more about what the sex you’re having (or not having) supposedly says about you than anyone else does.
13. Trying to be “chill.”Maybe you truly are the “cool girl” who loves nothing more than kicking back with a six-pack and a movie. But for those of us who don’t possess the “chill” gene, let’s stop trying. Striving to be the mellow girl at all times keeps us from expressing our needs, desires and opinions.
Read the rest at Huffington Post Women
We thought there were a couple we could add, so here goes!
24. Settling.You should never settle! But this time I mean professionally. Life is too short to stay in a job you absolutely hate 40 hours per week. If you're not happy in your work, start searching for something new and don't jump at a job just because of a great financial offer.
25. Stop worrying about things you can't control.You can't make sure everything goes your way, so sometimes it's best to just take a deep breath and let it be. It's not worth sleepless nights and stress pimples staying up late at night wondering what's going to happen.
What do you think of this list? Would you add anything?
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